Mythology tells of countless ways to become immortal, real ways by which any normal human may achieve eternal life. I thought I’d list ten ways you might want to try out. Such methods tend to come from ancient legends, and were often adopted by folklore more recently. I personally don’t want to achieve immortality, so maybe someone could try out these methods and let me know how successful they were. So here are ten ways to become immortal.


10

Golden Apple

Norse Golden Apple
Various mythologies describe the golden apple. Norse mythology told that apples preserve youth, but the golden apple preserves youth forever. They are grown and consumed by the gods in their magical orchard at the land of the gods. The gods consume golden apples to maintain their power. But one day, the trickster god Loki stole the golden apples and gave them to a giant. Without their apples the gods grew old and weak – but it gave humans a brief window to attain a golden apple, and achieve eternal youth. Before long the gods took Loki prisoner. And under threat of torture he returned the golden apples. Some legends tell that at least one golden apple remains on Earth just waiting to be found.


9

Make An Elixir Of Life

Elixir Of Life
There have been various attempts by Alchemists to create an elixir of life, some kind of potion to grant humans immortality. They were inspired to do so by both European and Asian folklore. The first emperor of China once sent a one thousand person party to find the elixir of life. But the search party never returned. It’s unknown what happened to them. It’s said an 18th century count created the elixir of life and never died. He secretly traveled across Europe for the next few centuries before committing suicide. Hindu mythology tells of a magical nectar created by the gods. That nectar grants people eternal life but the only way to drink it is to practice Yoga to a high level.


8

Attain The Philosophers Stone

Michael_Maier_Atalanta_Fugiens_Emblem_21
The philosophers stone is a legendary object which allows it’s owner to turn base metals into gold. Countless alchemists have attempted to create the stone, as they really loved gold, but also because the stone could grant it’s owner immortality. The ancient Greeks believed in the stone and the legend was passed down through the centuries to the point where the term “Magnum Opus” came to describe efforts to create the stone. Magnum Opus means “The great work” – as creating the stone was considered the ultimate goal for alchemists. Nicholas Flamel was a 14th century alchemist who reportedly created the stone, as did George Ripley – but both men are now dead so I guess it didn’t work.


7

Please The Moon Rabbit

Moon Rabbit making elixir of immortality
Chinese folklore tells of the moon rabbit, a magical rabbit who lives on the moon. He works for the gods, constantly making the elixir of life. According to some legends the elixir is being made specifically for the gods, but humans can gain some by pleasing the moon rabbit. The hard part is winning him over. The legends offer no clues on how to do this. But if you can, you might live forever.


6

Gilgamesh’s Plant

Gilgamesh plant
The epic of Gilgamesh is a bloody old poem from ancient Mesopotamia. It tells of a man who is part god and possessed great strength. He was king of a small state, and one day, he heard rumors of an immortal man who lived alone. He eventually found the man and asked how he could too become immortal. The wise old man told him of a mysterious plant that could grant anyone immortality. But he wasn’t told anything about the plant species, just that it exists. After ages of constant searching he found the mysterious plant. But before he could consume it, it was stolen by a snake. I’m not sure how a snake even stole the plant, snakes are idiots. Snakes can’t steal anything they’re just too dumb.


5

Fountain Of Youth

Lucas_Cranach_-_Der_Jungbrunnen_(Gemäldegalerie_Berlin)
We have all heard legends of the fountain of youth, a natural spring that restores youth to those who bathe in it. Find this fountain and you could remain young forever. There have been many attempts to find the fountain in real life. In the 16th century, European explorers believed it could be found somewhere in the new world. Spanish Conquistadors were obsessed with hunting for it in Florida. It’s said they searched every river, pool and lagoon in the state – but they never found it. Others searched California and Mexico for the fountain. They really believed it existed and were willing to risk their lives in order to find it.


4

Occultism

Isaac_Newton_laboratory_fire
Many have turned to occultism in their effort to become immortal. In the Kybalion, a book mentioned in my recent article, it suggests that immortality is possible if you find some way to shed your physical body – but it doesn’t say how to achieve this. Some believe the answer is to never have sex, because apparently that’s not a fate worse than death. Isaac Newton never had sex but he still died. Even alchemy couldn’t save him, and he loved a bit of the old alchemy.


3

Enrage Jesus

Wandering_jew
My personal favourite option to become immortal is to make Jesus angry. That’s exactly what the wandering Jew did. He was a security guard for a wealthy Roman official. At the Crucifixion he taunted Jesus. And being a forgiving lord, Jesus cursed him as revenge. He was given the curse of immortality, forced to wander the Earth until the second coming. And so he has since walked the earth unable to die or even rest. He just wanders aimlessly. Versions of this legend can be found in all European countries, and also in Kazakhstan for some reason.


2

Find The Holy Grail

Galahad_grail
Arthurian legend described a magical vessel which grants great strength and youth to those who drink from it. More recent legends told that the grail Jesus drank from at the last supper is now a holy relic – that anyone who drinks from it will become immortal, and it can heal any illness. It’s said the grail was eventually taken to Britain, where it remains hidden today. Many have traveled all over the country looking for it. No one has ever found it. It’s said to be hidden in the most holy part of the island, but it’s unknown where that is.


1

Use Science!

Become immortal with science
Take advantage of coming medical breakthroughs. Serious research is now being done regarding aging and longevity. Experts think cell death can actually be prevented, and immortality may only be a few decades away. But they warn only wealthy people can afford it. Another way might be to upload our consciousness to a computer. We could forever live in the matrix in whatever universe we want. But they warn only wealthy people will be able to afford it. Another way would be to merge with robots and live on as cyborgs. But of course only wealthy people can afford it, which sucks for me.


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